‘Thilagavathy Apartments’ at KK Nagar was my first home in Chennai, it was a paradise for me, like a happy migrated bird from different world to a new world, I adapted to the new home very quick. We ‘Graduates/Engineer/MBA/IT/Cinema/Sales’ guys from various parts of Tamil Nadu flew here to Chennai (assume it Bangalore/Mumbai or any other metro if your case differs), it was no longer a choice for us. We are just like birds which migrate every year for seasonal change, we, as flock of birds migrate t0 ‘Metros’ in seek of ‘Money’. I would definitely say at least 90% of us come to metro to chase money but not any other – be it a career, name, fame or anything. It is money, just money. We come, stay at new home, and cherish Chennai – but what we gain and what we lose?
Home!, I doubt if we can call it as a home when ‘bachelors’ stay together. Though, you rent a 2 bed room apartment with a hall and kitchen, it is still called as ‘Room’, may be it all started from the days bachelors used to stay at mansions. Now the definition is changed – Room – Accommodation made by one or more Boys; please note if girls share it’s still a home not room. I feel it’s better not to call it as ‘Home’ – Why?!- A home is made of happy family, but group of boys is not a ‘happy’ family, we can’t even call it as a family, it is just group of ‘independent’ boys.
The problem starts very first day, no matter you were close friends in college for year longs, you will not be in sync with others when you decided to share the room. Some guy eat Non-Veg, some not; Some smoke, some not; Some drink, some not; Some sleep in day, some in Night; Some watch TV, Some read books and most importantly Some are ‘Employed’, some are still ‘Searcher’ . You can’t! You can’t compromise on your character but there is a pressure you need to compromise your Friend’s character also. If at the least one guy who is sync, heavens, you are a lucky guy. You can easily identify there is a different face for your friend, whom you know for past some years. You can identify very first day. So, thought process starts on very first day, how I am going to live here, but you have no other choice, you have to, unless you like to live alone and monetarily strong to afford. Casually, you will be one among them and you will live with it.
I was enthusiastic, after I got job in Chennai, I don’t even had a second thought about my stay, I had an open option, ‘Thilagavathy Apartment’s’ room door was always open for me, my UG friends were ready to join me as their roommate. Well, it was planned 2 years back when we were completing Engg and I am joining them now, I caught the train 2 years later, little delay. But a small change, 2 years back it was only 4 friends shared, now it was already 9, I was 10th one. Believe me, it was just a 400+ sq ft small apartment, but 10 guys can easily share. It can happen only with Boys!.
One time, only one time, you get a warm welcome, your friend will be at station to pick you up, that’s something you will be moved (Thank You Kichu). Settled down in room with luggage. After 10 AM, you are all alone at room, all of your friends gone to office (to work or to search). Sleep. No TV. Go out for quick lunch, back and Sleep. Friends will start coming in the evening, Tea Shop, back to room, talks and talks, till midnight, goto sleep. Now I am one among them, I am ‘Chennaite’.
I joined office next day. I had a new time table now. In weekdays, go to room for dinner and sleep, before many get up, I will be at office. Weekend is real stay at room, from Friday night to Sunday evening, room is different, you will feel this is one place at earth where you get all fun and enjoyment, you have friends together, happy talks, old memories, unwanted discussions, fights, opinions, what not. I don’t want to go into this deeper, every bachelor knows about it :). This is what you gain in bachelor stay; this is it, nothing more.
Losses – hmm… we can’t count!. Every morning when you get up, you miss something, the sweet bed coffee, which mom gives you even before you open your eyes fully. There is no one to wake you up, you have to get up on your own, I always had a problem, in deep sleep, even sound horn can’t wake me up, and so what this mobile alarm will affect. Second and most Crucial thing, when butterflies fly in your stomach (not coz of Love!), the real belly dance!, dah! you are in queue, its Occupied. One bathroom, at least 5 guys need to get ready at same time, each take 20 to 30 mins, you have to reserve it man. Go to Nair tea shop, drink a tea, problem is more, you will listen ‘Beat it’ inside your abdomen. Any day, if you are first at bathroom, you can thank God whole day.
Ready to office, no one will be there to feed you breakfast, walk down, again Nair tea shop; eat 2 vadai and one tea, breakfast done. Believe me, nowadays I am not taking breakfast even at home, because it became a habit, not taking breakfast, straight lunch. This is very common among bachelors I could say!. At office, no home-made lunch, you just have to live with ‘Andhra meals’ or ‘Asif Briyani’. I took Briyani for lunch almost like 3 initial months, everyday. Then next 6 months switched to Andhra meals. It gets bored, and slowly eats very little and lunch came down. You will be in room for dinner, same Nair shop, thank God, Nair expanded his tea shop as a mini-hotel for guys like us, take 2 parotta or a dosa and, 1 omelette. Friends, this is real loss, Health!!! We bachelors never mind this, but slowly it affect.
The biggest problem for me, I am a TV freak, when I come back to home I need to watch TV till I sleep, there are days I used to say mom, if TV is not running I will not eat, the next moment I enter home, first thing is to switch on the TV. I was missing TV slowly, there was no TV at room. My friends were sharing this room for more than 2 years, but they never thought to buy a TV, coz few were still searching jobs, there was a PC, etc. But I insisted, I need a TV. Difference of opinion start here, there was a huge debate, oh man, I have never discussed like this for a simple issue. Finally, an agreement was made, TV was allowed to room, the conditions are; it should be switched off before 10, volume should not be loud, no disturbance to Learners!. Now second issue, guys are not ready to buy a new TV, share price will go high, so I decided to bring my old TV from Madurai. My dad couriered next day, and TV was on, many were off, coz there was a Rs.200 increase in room share. You lose your independence. No longer is decision making power rest to one person, it is board of members, and only early settlers has veto. Now you have TV, but still there are clashes, someone wants to watch Sports, someone Music, someone News, someone Comedy…. There will not be consensus ever. End, you watch only Ads, when switching the channels.
Above one was a simple example of difference of opinion, count as much as you can, from subscribing a newspaper to get a broadband connection. There are lots.
I stayed at Thilagavathy Apartments for seven months until we moved to new apartment.
Even with all these differences, we shared the room happily for long time, until few thought it is time to move to bigger room, because earnings are more now. 4 of us moved out to a bigger apartment at Little Mount, rent was way higher but a decent neighborhood, close proximity to office, easy access to most places; it was a nice apartment, ‘Vishwashanthi Apartment’. We had comfortable and luxurious stay at new apartment; we bought a new TV, set top box, Refrigerator, Washing machine, Kitchen utensils etc. There was an Air conditioner, provided by house owner as fixtures. Though, you are only 4 now, there is more comfort level; rules are same, you will have same gains and losses.
I stayed at Vishwashanthi Apartment for a year until I brought my parents to Chennai and found a new home.
Throughout my life time I won’t forget the days (May 2006 to Dec 2007) stayed at bachelor accomodation, self-learned to manage myself. I will cherish the moments enjoyed as bachelor, but I know now, a friend cant be a same friend as in college or office, if you share room, he is your room ‘partner’, he is from Saturn and you are from Jupiter.
At ‘Home’ we are like Prince, Parents under our service. At ‘Room’ you are still a Prince, living with 10 other Prince, no one under your service, ‘self-serviced Prince’ but everyone trying to be a King (dreaming, dominating and delegating)
Mohamed Aslam
Maheswaran
Cognitive Factor 